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Saturday, June 28, 2008

Changing Light Bulbs

As this is my first post I won't make it too bright, and I guess many of you know me anyway either from my Life blog or Free PC Security.
Thank you perps for allowing me to post here, it's a privilege.

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least a dozen, but it's impossible to tell which one it is, because they're all pointing at each other going "That's me, over there !"

Q: How many Bill Gates' (runs Microsoft) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. He simply declares darkness to be the new standard.

Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
A: All of them. Bones to say "Its dead Jim", Uhura to send a distress signal, Sulu to listen to Chekov saying "Light bulbs vere really an old russian invention", Spock to be fascinated by the illogic inherent in the early demise of the light bulb, Scotty to do the work, and Kirk to get the girl.

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They can't change light bulbs... Without light, they can't read the manual, and without the manual, they can't figure out how to change the light bulb.

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Wait! Maybe the bulb isn't broken. Let's try it again.

Q: How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seven. One to write the pseudocode, another to design the requisite peripherals, another three to code various sections of the main routine, another to sort out the memory conflicts, and Bill Gates to justify earning such swingeing fees...

Q: How many Microsoft Visual C++ programmers does it take?
A: 400. 1 to change the bulb, 50 to write a magazine about it, 50 to write a help file about it, 50 to code a little gadget so when you hit the bulb it will announce all the names of the team involved, 50 to go down to the drinks machine and get everyone their can of coke, 50 to show off about how installing a light bulb for Bill has made them paper millionaires, 1 to answer the phone at the help desk ("Putting you through to our light bulb expert sir... click"), 148 to pad out the pictures in the "Light Bulb - how we did it" magazine.

Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message.

Have a great weekend all.
Colin aka cotojo


  1. Thanks for joining the Blogging Den 2

  2. Good ones Colin....had not heard them before...good to have you aboard Matey!!!!

  3. Kim - It's great to be here, I will change the links on my other blogs to redirect to here :o)

    Maunie - We all need a little humor now and again don't we, almost makes me sane and that will never do :o)

    Have a great week all,

  4. okay Colin...have you heard from the blog elf?i haven`t yet...